From the perspective of someone who immigrated as a child
At the time of writing, I’ve still spent more time of my life living outside of the United States than in it.
Where do I begin?
Although I am a first generation immigrant and college student, I never fully identified myself as such. There is no particular reason, I just never did. A few notable accomplishments this year made me reflect. On my latest accomplishment, a great friend asked me how I feel about it, to which I replied “Great. I’m excited, of course, but I’m already looking forward to what’s next”. He told me: “You should enjoy this. This is a big deal, especially considering your first-generation background”. Some more reflecting and pondering later, this article came to life.
Thus, this article is inspired by my own experiences and conversations I had with a few people who know me well and with whom I share a similar background with.
In my opinion, life as a first-generation immigrant can be compared to wielding the Infinity Gauntlet… from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, yes.
For those unfamiliar with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the infinity gauntlet is the most powerful tool that grants whoever is wearing it the power to do anything the mind can imagine. In order to harness the immense and unending power the Infinity Gauntlet possesses, you must work tirelessly to attain all of the six stones, be relentless in your pursuit, and willingly make sacrifices all for the sake of single-handedly imposing the changes you want to see occur. If you don’t attain the stones, however, then no one will blame you because it’s a gargantuan task that only Titans can complete.
Why is life as a first-generation immigrant comparable to wielding the infinity gauntlet?
On one hand, there is not much pressure because there is no precedent. I don’t think high expectations are set. Anything you accomplish, anything you attain, will be much appreciated, regardless of how miniscule it might be, because the previous generation simply just wants you to do better than they did. Like I discussed in my previous article regarding the importance of having high expectations, it can be something that’s easily achievable, especially if the bar is set so low, if there even is one. If you don’t accomplish anything noteworthy, which is purely subjective, then it won’t matter because you can just chalk it up to your status as a first-generation immigrant and expect the next generation to lead that change. Similarly, if you don’t collect all of the infinity stones, no one will blame you because it’s tough to do and it’s probably not your fault.
*I think an innate desire to succeed and a high level of conscientiousness is necessary in order for this next paragraph to be true.*
On the other, there can be an intense sense of inclination and immense responsibility for changing your generation’s way of life, or even just your own. The pressure will be a result of your predisposition to set a precedent. Funny enough, a quote from Avengers: Infinity War, “cursed with knowledge,” wonderfully applies here. Curse of knowledge, in psychology, is a cognitive bias that occurs when one automatically assumes that everyone else knows what they’re talking about. As a child, you excitedly tell your parents/guardians, or your guardians, what’s going on with school only for you to backtrack and teach them everything because you realize that they have no idea what you’re talking about since their experience couldn’t have been any more different from yours. As an adolescent, you tell your family that you’re now applying to colleges but they can’t offer anything other than some money to pay for application fees because they don’t know anything about that process. As an adult, you’ve learned to only share the end result with your family because that’s the only thing you can guarantee they know something about. It’s quite interesting. Humans are innately curious and it’s fascinating to see a reversal of roles: elders learning from the children and children teaching their elders.
While children teach their elders the way of life in their new country, they’re also simultaneously trying to enjoy their childhood and innocence while paving a path of their own, navigating as they go. If your family is like my family, their go-to phrase is “We didn’t grow up here so we don’t know anything about that. Just let us know what happens after.” If family members are aware that they don’t know anything about their children’s interests or experiences, why can’t they take the time to educate themselves which in turn will definitely lead to more meaningful conversations? I just think children shouldn’t bear the responsibility of educating their family. Ideally speaking, children look up to their parents/guardians and nothing good can come out if both are looking up to each other. Furthermore, as human beings, we’re hard-wired to be drawn to people with whom we share similarities with. How can we connect and further develop our relationship with our parents/guardians if they have no idea what we’re talking about? Sharing the end result of an accomplishment with parents/guardians is always great but the accomplishment becomes much sweeter if they are aware of the whole process their children worked through in order to succeed. Instead of suffering the curse of knowledge, Titans just pursue their goals and continue to expand their knowledge, choosing to associate themselves with similar people who share the same vision or can help their vision come to fruition instead of giving explanations.
Similar to those with no pressure, any and all accomplishments attained here along the way will be celebrated by everyone. Whereas those who don’t have the desire to wield the infinity gauntlet will excessively celebrate each accomplishment, all are unwarranted to the titans dedicating themselves to changing their life because a true celebration can only be had once everything is completed.
Simply, if a first-generation immigration wants to succeed, they have to be relentless in their pursuit, be willing to make sacrifices, and never lose track of the ultimate goal, even with a few notable accomplishments along the way. Thanos didn’t feel accomplished until he wielded the gauntlet with all six infinity stones.
Put yourself in a position to expect rewards but don’t take it for granted when it happens. Acknowledge accordingly because each success strengthens our conviction, which all adds more fuel to our desire to succeed and keep striving.
